***I hope you enjoy this sampling of what a scary place a 4 year old’s mind can be…***
Me: Okay, girls, it’s time to go shopping. Helpful Kid (HK): Yay, shopping!
My Internal Commentary (MIC): Yay for having girls!
HK: …with el-phants!!
MIC: Wait. What?
HK: Mommy, please I have a cookie?
Me: No, sweetheart. It’s almost time for dinner.
HK: Please I have a snack while I wait?
Me: No, thank you, Kid. You never finish your dinner. If you eat a snack beforehand, you’ll be even less likely to finish dinner.
Me: Yes, sweetie?
HK: I’m goin’ finish my dinner ‘anight.
Me (trying to concentrate on cooking): Yeeeess?
HK: Please I have a cookie now?
HK: Daddy, I fell and bump my chin in dance class today.
Daddy: Oh, I’m sorry, honey. Are you okay?
HK: Yeah. But I have a boo boo.
Daddy: You know, I bumped my chin a lot when I was a kid. See my scar?
HK: Yeah. Did you do that when you were a little girl?
Daddy: Uh…I was never a girl.
HK: Daddy? Please I help?
Daddy: Not this time, sweetie.
Daddy: I’m sorting papers, and you can’t read yet.
*HK sits down to watch for a few minutes.*
HK: You know, I can read now.
Daddy: Oh, yeah? What kinds of things can you read?
HK (pointing): These papers and, you know, everything!
Daddy (rolling eyes): Mmhmm.
HK: Please I help now?
Daddy: Sure. You can put these old receipts through the paper shredder.
Me (across room): Wait, what?
HK: Wan’ me read you da story?
Daddy and Me: Sure. Okay.
HK (holding American Girl Caroline bk.1): Otay. Here goes. Caroline was on a boat. An’ a big rat came along an’ ATE her…
*Daddy and Me burst out laughing.*
HK (glaring balefully): Don’ laugh; it’s not funny.
Daddy and Me (stifling laughter): Go on.
HK: An’ den Caroline’s daddy came along. An’ de rat ATE him, too!…
**Note: This story went on for like 10 minutes. Caroline was eaten no less than 8 different ways by various things, but always on a boat. Um, huh?**