The Helpful Toddler’s Very Busy Day

So. I’ve been sick. It’s like I got sick and my body was like, “Hey, since we’re here, let’s do a system-wide cleanout!” Hooray for me.

Today was one of those days where I could really use some rest to recover.

… strange, slightly-creepy, maniacal laughter sounds in my head every time I say, write, or think the word rest. Yep, there it goes again. Weird…

Anyway, it didn’t happen quite like I’d hoped. The Helpful Toddler and the Hungry Baby can smell fear smell weakness sense when I’m not up to chasing them so vigorously. And today seemed like a redoubling of the efforts to bring me constant joy by being *gulp* helpful.

And, apparently, the Helpful Toddler thinks that my cognitive capacity is directly related to my voice. Mommy goes hoarse and quiet(er) = Mommy will believe me when I say “nuffing.”

Either she wanted to reenact The Lone Ranger (she does love ponies), OR she was really really afraid she would get a sunburn on her forehead during her nap in her room. All I know is she came out saying she needed to go potty, and the following conversation happened:

“I need go pawttty.”
“Gah! What’s all over your face?!”
*sniff sniff*
“Is that… sunscreen?!”

I was freaked out enough to forget to get a picture. Daaaarn it!

She also helped herself to a box of unsweetened chocolate, trying to hide under the couch to eat it. Did I mention I was sitting on the couch? I got another “nuffing” for my efforts.

I had forgotten that my hubby had recently found his old rubber snake. And given it to the Helpful Toddler. So this happened first thing this morning:


Probably the highest I've jumped since giving birth...

A sampling from today:

She dropped the hard boiled eggs for egg salad down the disposal, and then tried to retrieve them.

She put the baby’s fridge magnet toys (that baby likes to put in her mouth) into the dog’s raw meat dog food.

She unplugged the lamps in the living room, and gave the baby library books to play with.

She ate soap.

She had a major meltdown when she realized the bread had to bake BEFORE it was edible.

She helpfully fed the baby when I wasn’t looking, so that Baby stuffed her checks so full she started to choke.

She also helpfully tried to drink all my special tea and eat all my cough drops.

I could go on, but it’s making me sad. And exhausted.

Where was the Hungry Baby in all this?


What? I like the Seussian look...

Oy vey.

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3 Responses to The Helpful Toddler’s Very Busy Day

  1. soknitsome says:

    Oh dear I sympathise – perhaps you should rename her as ‘helpful’ seems to be a tad limiting 😉 Hope you’re feeling better & more energised soon

    • Thank you!

      Her burning desire to be helpful is what causes her to, um, take initiative. It’s just that her ability to be helpful, as well as her reasoning process about WHAT is helpful aren’t so finely tuned… 😉

  2. iknitiatives says:

    Hi! I nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award in my latest post 🙂

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